It has been quite some time since I have last written about Helga and her outings with Ralphy. The amount of time spent between this chapter and the previous chapter in no way correlates with the duration of Helga and Ralphy's non-verbal relationship. In fact, the entirety of their **friendship/relationship/courtship lasted less than one month.
**to this day, Helga is still unsure of how to refer to this time spent with Ralphy, but that is beside the point.
I will get on with this chapter now which ultimately ends with the end of Helga and Ralphy. I don't consider that last sentence to be any sort of spoiler, because I am undoubtedly sure that you all had to see it coming. How were things to ever work out with Helga and Ralphy if they didn't speak the same language? This is a question that Helga began asking herself soon after her previously-canceled-but-later-rescheduled-date plan with Ralphy.
They went on that date where they ate at an early-morning eatery and proceeded to a darkly lit bowling alley. I think that it would be safe to say that aside from the few pimply-teenagers that worked there, Helga and Ralphy were the only ones in the bowling alley. One might think that this would be a prime atmosphere to have grand "getting to know you" kind of conversations, but Helga and Ralphy still only communicated in a brief written way.
Helga began to realize that things probably weren't going to work out. She was not only somewhat frustrated with the fact that she couldn't communicate with Ralphy, but she also realized that she wasn't really interested in him as more than a friend. Having never been in a **friendship/relationship/courtship (See previous asterisk) Helga, didn't know how to end things with Ralphy. She likely asked some of her flatmates and friends what to do, and they likely advised her to be open and honest with Ralphy, but Helga was having a hard time mustering up the courage to do such a thing.
Although Helga was and still is a big believer in honesty, she didn't have to "break things off" with Ralphy. And in case you were wondering, Ralphy didn't "break things off" with Helga either. The whole thing truly just fizzled out. The last time they ever saw each other they spent an evening at a school-related program together. They had driven separately, so when the program was over, they walked out to the parking lot together, shared their first and last awkward hug together, waved good-bye and that was that. They never saw each other again.
I apologize if any of you feel cheated that you invested 4-chapters worth of your time in this story that ultimately amounted to nothing. But let me assure you, that as has been the case in all of Helga's other dating adventures, there was a lesson to be learned. Helga discovered early on that communicating in the same language, actually was important. But more importantly, she decided that if in the future she was faced with an "open and honest" type of situation again she would do her dandiest to be open and honest.
So again we end another chapter in the life of our dear friend Helga. You may or may not be wondering if Helga will ever find dating success in her future. I can't say that I have a clear answer to that question, but a few stories come to mind that might help you as a reader decide. Once upon a December time, Helga met a young chap named-- but I better I stop there because that's another story.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, November 26, 2010
The Result of Boredom part 10
Well, I don't really have much of an introduction to this chapter. That said, here you go. I hope you enjoy!
Part 3: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language
Upon our last meeting I left you with the fatefull news that Ralphy had cancelled his second date with Helga. But also as was hinted, this second date would and did in fact take place, just a little later than planned. And through hopefully not too much of a round about way, I will try to explain how this second date would be rescheduled.
It is not that often that we have been able to take a look into Helga's deepest thoughts and feelings, yes despite Helga's lack of any love life she still has feelings. But she still wasn't quite sure how to take the news of the cancelled date, she wasn't offended, perhaps a little sad, but she was ultimatley okay to just leave it at that and move on to the next boy that would hopefully grace her presence someday. Despite her contentment of the situation, the school-related associate that was mentioned in the previous chapter, was the very opposite of content. Upon learning of the cancellation of the date, she immediately insisted that Helga speak with Ralphy's mother and ask something along the lines of "what is wrong with your son that speaks a different language?" Helga kind of thought that this was a strange idea, and in her mind had decided against it. But again, that school-related associate would have it no other way.
This particular school day Helga, the school-related associate, and Ralphy's mother were accompanying many young students on an out of school adventure. They were riding in a large Twinky-shaped vehicle with seats that only 2 people could sit on. Helga ended up being seated next to the school related associate, where they were having a a meaningless conversation. Because of the meaningless conversation, Helga was paying little attention, because she was paying little attention she was not at all expecting the meaningful conversation that was about to take place between the school-related associate and Ralphy's mother. It went something like this:
School-related associate: "Hey Justine, what is wrong with your son that speaks another language? He dumped Helga after only one date with little explanation."
Justine's reply "He was worried that Helga did not like him and thought of him in a less intellectual manner because he speaks another language. But otherwise he had a very enjoyable time, so the part about him choosing a younger female, from a southern state, that speaks his same language, was basically just an excuse."
Well seeing as how this was a matter that concerned Helga far more directly than the school-related associate, she decided that she must interject and set things straight. Therefore, she explained to Justine, that she didn't think of Ralphy in a less intellectual manner because he spoke another language. She further explained that she found this to be fascinating. And although she did not vocally state this, she found it slightly confusing, but a little relieving to know that the part about him claiming to have chosen a younger female, from a southern state, that spoke his same language, was in actuality just an excuse.
Well I'm sorry for that confusing explanation, but I felt that it was important for you as a reader to know the way in which things were cleared up so that Helga and Ralphy could go on their second date (and might I add that this would be Helga's very first, second date ever).
So now that you know the lengthy background, I will give you the shorter portion of how this second date came to be.
One Saturday, soon after the conversation during the out of school adventure, Helga recieved a written message from Ralphy via her mobular telephone device. He was inviting her to join him the following Sunday at his religious building where everyone spoke his same language. Helga accepted.
The very next day she made sure that she looked her "Sunday Best", a term meaning that she wore a modest length of skirt, snazzy looking sweater, and an appropiately matching pair of shoes. Then she headed off to the religious building, where she would meet Ralphy.
She found Ralphy, and did her best to communicate to him in her language that she didn't know where to go. He showed her around to the various classes that she would attend that day, but because of the nature of the classes, and the fact that she didn't really understand what was being said, she mostly just sat with a blank stare on her face, much like the look you would see on the face of a Bambi-like deer before it is about to be massacred by the force of a moving vehicle coming its way. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, well that's a bit too much of an exaggeration, but after what seemed to be a very, very, very long time, the religious meeting came to an end. And Helga and Ralphy were about to have a short, but meaningful (written) conversation. And it went something like this:
Ralphy: "I'm very sorry for so rudely cancelling our future date plan."
Helga: "That's okay"
Ralphy: "I was wrong to think that you would think of me in a less intellectual way because of the language barrier that separates us. If it is okay by you, I would like to reinstate the previously planned second date. Do you accept?"
Helga: "Yes."
Ralphy: "Okay, I will communicate with you in this same written manner at a later date to give you more specific details about this date."
Helga: "That would be rather nice."
Ralphy: "Ok, good-bye"
Helga: "Bye"
And that was that. They would have that second date. But it saddens me to remind you that though they would go on the second date and even see each other on a few other occasions, it would not ultimately work out for them. And so now I will leave you hanging once again. To wonder. And possibly be annoyed. Yet again, you will have to wait to hear the ultimate end of Helga and Ralphy.
Ha, so there you have it. Honestly I don't know where this is all going. I kind of feel like I ramble on, but maybe that is te purpose of this. So any opinions, positive or negative will be appreciated. But I do ask, if comments be negative...please keep your language PG rated :)
Part 3: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language
Upon our last meeting I left you with the fatefull news that Ralphy had cancelled his second date with Helga. But also as was hinted, this second date would and did in fact take place, just a little later than planned. And through hopefully not too much of a round about way, I will try to explain how this second date would be rescheduled.
It is not that often that we have been able to take a look into Helga's deepest thoughts and feelings, yes despite Helga's lack of any love life she still has feelings. But she still wasn't quite sure how to take the news of the cancelled date, she wasn't offended, perhaps a little sad, but she was ultimatley okay to just leave it at that and move on to the next boy that would hopefully grace her presence someday. Despite her contentment of the situation, the school-related associate that was mentioned in the previous chapter, was the very opposite of content. Upon learning of the cancellation of the date, she immediately insisted that Helga speak with Ralphy's mother and ask something along the lines of "what is wrong with your son that speaks a different language?" Helga kind of thought that this was a strange idea, and in her mind had decided against it. But again, that school-related associate would have it no other way.
This particular school day Helga, the school-related associate, and Ralphy's mother were accompanying many young students on an out of school adventure. They were riding in a large Twinky-shaped vehicle with seats that only 2 people could sit on. Helga ended up being seated next to the school related associate, where they were having a a meaningless conversation. Because of the meaningless conversation, Helga was paying little attention, because she was paying little attention she was not at all expecting the meaningful conversation that was about to take place between the school-related associate and Ralphy's mother. It went something like this:
School-related associate: "Hey Justine, what is wrong with your son that speaks another language? He dumped Helga after only one date with little explanation."
Justine's reply "He was worried that Helga did not like him and thought of him in a less intellectual manner because he speaks another language. But otherwise he had a very enjoyable time, so the part about him choosing a younger female, from a southern state, that speaks his same language, was basically just an excuse."
Well seeing as how this was a matter that concerned Helga far more directly than the school-related associate, she decided that she must interject and set things straight. Therefore, she explained to Justine, that she didn't think of Ralphy in a less intellectual manner because he spoke another language. She further explained that she found this to be fascinating. And although she did not vocally state this, she found it slightly confusing, but a little relieving to know that the part about him claiming to have chosen a younger female, from a southern state, that spoke his same language, was in actuality just an excuse.
Well I'm sorry for that confusing explanation, but I felt that it was important for you as a reader to know the way in which things were cleared up so that Helga and Ralphy could go on their second date (and might I add that this would be Helga's very first, second date ever).
So now that you know the lengthy background, I will give you the shorter portion of how this second date came to be.
One Saturday, soon after the conversation during the out of school adventure, Helga recieved a written message from Ralphy via her mobular telephone device. He was inviting her to join him the following Sunday at his religious building where everyone spoke his same language. Helga accepted.
The very next day she made sure that she looked her "Sunday Best", a term meaning that she wore a modest length of skirt, snazzy looking sweater, and an appropiately matching pair of shoes. Then she headed off to the religious building, where she would meet Ralphy.
She found Ralphy, and did her best to communicate to him in her language that she didn't know where to go. He showed her around to the various classes that she would attend that day, but because of the nature of the classes, and the fact that she didn't really understand what was being said, she mostly just sat with a blank stare on her face, much like the look you would see on the face of a Bambi-like deer before it is about to be massacred by the force of a moving vehicle coming its way. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, well that's a bit too much of an exaggeration, but after what seemed to be a very, very, very long time, the religious meeting came to an end. And Helga and Ralphy were about to have a short, but meaningful (written) conversation. And it went something like this:
Ralphy: "I'm very sorry for so rudely cancelling our future date plan."
Helga: "That's okay"
Ralphy: "I was wrong to think that you would think of me in a less intellectual way because of the language barrier that separates us. If it is okay by you, I would like to reinstate the previously planned second date. Do you accept?"
Helga: "Yes."
Ralphy: "Okay, I will communicate with you in this same written manner at a later date to give you more specific details about this date."
Helga: "That would be rather nice."
Ralphy: "Ok, good-bye"
Helga: "Bye"
And that was that. They would have that second date. But it saddens me to remind you that though they would go on the second date and even see each other on a few other occasions, it would not ultimately work out for them. And so now I will leave you hanging once again. To wonder. And possibly be annoyed. Yet again, you will have to wait to hear the ultimate end of Helga and Ralphy.
Ha, so there you have it. Honestly I don't know where this is all going. I kind of feel like I ramble on, but maybe that is te purpose of this. So any opinions, positive or negative will be appreciated. But I do ask, if comments be negative...please keep your language PG rated :)
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Result of Boredom part 9....I think
I know, I know, I'm a complete slacker. I'll blame my lack of continuing "Helga's Journey" on the fact that I have been dilligently teaching musical concepts to children of the ages 5-12. It may only be a 3 hour a day job, but it amazes me how much of my time it takes. But enough of that, I bet you have all just been dying to know what happened to Helga and Ralphy, well the time has now arrived to read of the next portion of this multi-portioned chapter in Helga's Journey, with out further ado I give you Part 2 in ........"The Boy Who Spoke Another Language" (I loved all suggestions for the chapter title, but I just couldn't decide....so for now, this is it.)
Part Two of: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language
When we last left Helga and Ralphy, they both had discovered that they spoke another language, but if you remember, it was also reported that they would discover a magical form of written communication that worked rather well for the both of them. Granted, it would be most preferred that they both spoke the other's language, but you know, they did what they had to do.
I would most like to describe the first date that Helga went on with Ralphy, unlike past tales in Helga's life, the details of this particular date actually are important. I must admit, that Helga was actually pretty nervous about this date, due to the fact that she had not yet discovered the written form of communication. She spoke to many an individual, be it her family, flatmates, or far away friends, to ask their advice on communicating with an individual that spoke another language. Although all of these individuals had much more experience in the realms of dating than Helga because they had already found love, or were at least closer to having found love than her, they were not much help in this situation. So adviceless, Helga left for the date, unsure of what the outcome would be.
She was to meet Ralphy at a rather popular frozen-dairy like store, to enjoy one another's company, and of course, enjoy a frozen dairy treat. Within a very few minutes Ralphy introduced her to the magical form of written communication. He first pulled out a writing utensil and then an object that is often used to wipe ones face when they dribble a bit of a frozen-dairy dessert, however, in this case it was used as means to write on with said writing utensil. They began conversing about the basics, you know "How is your day?" "Why did my Mother want to set you up with me?" "Would you like to go with me to my religious building this Sunday where we speak my language?" "Would you like me like me to give you lessons in my language so that it might be easier for us to communicate? " and even "Would you like to go on another date with me?"
Well my oh my, was Helga ever surprised, might I add baffled, because Ralphy was the first boy that had ever asked her on a second date. She managed to answer all his previous questions with ease and honesty. Her day had been fine, as she had been working with young individuals in a school-related setting, a favorite pastime of hers. His mother wanted to set the two of them up because she thought that they might enjoy one another's company, which actually turned out to be true. Yes, Helga wanted to go with Ralphy to his religious building that following Sunday, where they would be speaking his language, because she thought it would be an interesting experience. And yes, she would like to take some lessons in his language so that it would be easier for the two of them to communicate. After having answered all these questions, and likely others, which I do not recall, Helga answered his last question in the affirmative, Yes! She would most definately like to go on another date with Ralphy!
So it was decided, that all of these things would take place. Helga had no need to be nervous, as the date was considerably better than she had imagined it. In fact, she immediately went home afterwards and began contacting all of the individuals whom she had previously called on for advice, such as her old school pal Lenora, her flat mate Katania, and even her sister Merna, to tell them of the fantabulous time they had.
Poor Helga, she spent much of the evening after that date telling so many of what a wonderful time she had, when little did she know, she would have to contact all of them again, the very next day to reverse her statement about the second date.
She was just leaving a meeting with a school-related associate, who had coincidentally just asked about the previous nights' date. Helga was in the process of responding to the questions when she happened to notice an electronic message from Ralphy on her mobile communication device (yes it was still their magical form of communication, but with an electronic twist that provided a bit more convenience and less strain on the hands than the writing utensil and frozen-dairy-dribble-wiper method) The message read something like this "I'm sorry Helga, I have to cancel our second date. I hope you understand, but I have chosen a younger female, that lives in a southern state, and happens to speak my same language. We will still be friends, Ralphy."
Well Helga didn't quite know what to say to that. She had a nice time the evening before, and as far as she could tell, Ralphy had an enjoyable time as well. All she could think to do was to respond by saying something to the effect of "Thank you for a lovely evening last night, and for the frozen dairy treat. Yes, I will still be your friend, Helga." And that was that, her very first, second date would no longer be taking place....yet.
And here you will be left hanging again. I will not yet tell you how it all came to be, but this succinct electronic message from Ralphy would not be the last of him in Helga's life. There would be that second date, and even some other outings........but I would not be keeping to my promise of keeping each of these sub-chapters short if I continued, so until next time, you will be left to wonder when will we again hear of "The boy who spoke another language" in this the tale of "Helga's Journey"?
Ha, as always I appreciate any and all comments, questions, suggestions, and the like. I know it's kind of lame, but thanks to those that actually read this. It's all for fun, but it's also kind of fun to know that there are actually people that have fun reading it.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The long-delayed result of boredom part 8
I just wanted to give a head's up, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter because I gave myself a deadline on it, and I don't know if that was the best choice or not. The 'note to the reader' will explain a bit about this chapter and a few future chapters. You will also note that there is no title....yet. I'm hoping for a little help on this one and would like your suggestions, in fact, I'm almost willing to make it a contest, where the best title wins...Wins what? Well you win the honor of naming the chapter. And more than any other chapter, I am open to all suggestions. I completed writing this at 1:15 a.m. and would not be the least bit offended if you find grammatical errors, or anything else that needs to be changed. Let me know. Thanks! And as always, enjoy!
NOTE TO THE READER: After much pondering and inner debate it was finally decided how this, the newest adventure, in Helga’s tale should be presented. I assure you that you will get a description of the entire event. However, unlike many of the past chapters, the details are important. So rather than writing a very elongated story all in one chapter, it has been unanimously decided by numerous experts that the following account will be broken down into multiple chapters. Again, I guarantee that the whole story will be recorded, but in order to keep you reading these brief chapters, and in order for me to undertake this large assignment whilst maintaining whatever sanity I currently have, I can only believe that writing this as a collection of chapters is the best way to go about the presentation of this adventure in “Helga’s Journey.”
Chapter 8:
Once upon a time, a short time after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with another young chap, and then another date with this same young chap, and another, and, well I’m getting a little ahead of myself, so let me try this again. Once upon a time, after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with a young chap named Ralphy.
Helga initially knew very little of this fella due to the fact, she just knew that his mother, Justine, was the one that was trying to set these 2 individuals up. Justine knew Helga through a school-related setting, and for whatever reason, decided that Helga would be an amazing young woman to set up with her son. But then again, if you had an associate like our poor friend Helga, wouldn’t you do your dandiest to try to find her an appropriate companion? Well try as she might, Justine’s attempts at matchmaking ultimately failed, but it took quite a while for this matchmaking attempt to fail and herein lies our story. (Or at least the first part of the story.)
On intermittent occasions, Justine would tell Helga little tidbits about her son, Ralphy. After a number of these intermittent occasions, Justine asked if Helga would mind being set up on a blind date with Ralphy. Helga could see no harm in being set up on a blind date, despite the fact that none of her previous blind date experiences had really fared well for her, but nonetheless she said ‘yes.’ It was decided that Justine would give Ralphy Helga’s digits, and it would then be his responsibility to contact her for the said date. Ha, if that were only the way that it could have gone, but alas, Justine was an eager mother, who you will soon see decided to hurry things along in her own special way.
Before moving forward with our story I would like to add a detail that was omitted earlier (you may remember that I promised to include the details to this particular story). I will remind you again that it was mentioned that Justine had intermittently told Helga little tidbits about Ralphy, but Helga also learned that Justine had intermittently given Ralphy some informational tidbits about Helga. What type of informational tidbits you may ask? Well let me tell you, Justine had basically told Ralphy about Helga’s previous misfortunes with members of the opposite sex, which you will see from past chapters is not the best information to learn about a person when you are about to be set up on a blind date with them. Now you may think you have this chapter figured out, and that all these tidbits of information may have affected the failed outcome of this relationship, but you will just have to trust me that this information didn’t really play any part into the failure. Rather there was a larger problem that ultimately caused this relationship to fail, and that was that Helga and Ralphy spoke a very different language.
It was suggested by some of Helga’s nearest and dearest acquaintances, that if they learned to speak the magical “language of love” that the original language barrier would not matter. It saddens me to tell you that not even the language of love would be enough to keep these two together. I apologize again for getting ahead of myself; perhaps in conclusion of this chapter I recall the first time that Helga met Ralphy, and how she consequently learned that they did not speak the same language.
Helga was not aware of this upon first learning of Ralphy, it actually came as quite a surprise to her. One afternoon when Helga was involved in a school related activity she was so completely focused on her work that it threw her for a figurative loop when she heard her name. Rather than being called Miss Weiner, as she was usually called in school related settings, she was called by her first name. She turned to the direction that she heard her name, and found Justine at the door of a school-related room waving for Helga to come over. Although Helga was confused as to why Justine would interrupt such an important school-related activity, she decided to check the situation out. Helga was even more confused when she noticed Justine motioning for an unseen individual to come nearer as well. Then a male individual came into view, and Justine introduced Helga to Ralphy. Helga was again thrown for the same figurative loop and didn’t know what to say to Ralphy.
If you can remember back to the very first chapter in this tremendous adventure, you may remember the phrase taken from a popular song, “you say it best when you say nothing at all.” The occasion of meeting Ralphy may have been another opportune time for Helga to use this advice, but again, she did not. She started blabbing her rather large mouth, letting Ralphy know that it was nice to meet him, and that she was available to go on their blind date on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, but not Sunday of the next week. She kept going, and going, and going, to the point that she could have given the Energizer Bunny a run for his money. Because she continued to talk, and talk, and talk some more, she didn’t immediately notice that Ralphy had not yet responded. When she finally quit talking, (probably just to take a breath) Ralphy gave her a puzzled look, and indicated in another language that he did not understand her. In turn, Helga gave an even more puzzled look, not immediately knowing that he had spoken another language. It wasn’t until Justine stepped in and said something along the lines of “Oh, I forgot to mention that Ralphy speaks another language,” that Helga realized Ralphy spoke another language.
You may be wondering how Helga and Ralphy ever managed to communicate on their first date. (Yes, despite their communication barrier, Ralphy found a way to ask Helga on their first date.) It wasn’t easy, and it did take some patience, but they did it. The only down side to their newly discovered form of written communication was that many things were implied, or misunderstood. As you will see in the next few chapters, this down fall ultimately caused the end of whatever relationship existed between Helga and Ralphy. And now I leave you hanging until………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………the next chapter.
NOTE TO THE READER: After much pondering and inner debate it was finally decided how this, the newest adventure, in Helga’s tale should be presented. I assure you that you will get a description of the entire event. However, unlike many of the past chapters, the details are important. So rather than writing a very elongated story all in one chapter, it has been unanimously decided by numerous experts that the following account will be broken down into multiple chapters. Again, I guarantee that the whole story will be recorded, but in order to keep you reading these brief chapters, and in order for me to undertake this large assignment whilst maintaining whatever sanity I currently have, I can only believe that writing this as a collection of chapters is the best way to go about the presentation of this adventure in “Helga’s Journey.”
Chapter 8:
Once upon a time, a short time after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with another young chap, and then another date with this same young chap, and another, and, well I’m getting a little ahead of myself, so let me try this again. Once upon a time, after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with a young chap named Ralphy.
Helga initially knew very little of this fella due to the fact, she just knew that his mother, Justine, was the one that was trying to set these 2 individuals up. Justine knew Helga through a school-related setting, and for whatever reason, decided that Helga would be an amazing young woman to set up with her son. But then again, if you had an associate like our poor friend Helga, wouldn’t you do your dandiest to try to find her an appropriate companion? Well try as she might, Justine’s attempts at matchmaking ultimately failed, but it took quite a while for this matchmaking attempt to fail and herein lies our story. (Or at least the first part of the story.)
On intermittent occasions, Justine would tell Helga little tidbits about her son, Ralphy. After a number of these intermittent occasions, Justine asked if Helga would mind being set up on a blind date with Ralphy. Helga could see no harm in being set up on a blind date, despite the fact that none of her previous blind date experiences had really fared well for her, but nonetheless she said ‘yes.’ It was decided that Justine would give Ralphy Helga’s digits, and it would then be his responsibility to contact her for the said date. Ha, if that were only the way that it could have gone, but alas, Justine was an eager mother, who you will soon see decided to hurry things along in her own special way.
Before moving forward with our story I would like to add a detail that was omitted earlier (you may remember that I promised to include the details to this particular story). I will remind you again that it was mentioned that Justine had intermittently told Helga little tidbits about Ralphy, but Helga also learned that Justine had intermittently given Ralphy some informational tidbits about Helga. What type of informational tidbits you may ask? Well let me tell you, Justine had basically told Ralphy about Helga’s previous misfortunes with members of the opposite sex, which you will see from past chapters is not the best information to learn about a person when you are about to be set up on a blind date with them. Now you may think you have this chapter figured out, and that all these tidbits of information may have affected the failed outcome of this relationship, but you will just have to trust me that this information didn’t really play any part into the failure. Rather there was a larger problem that ultimately caused this relationship to fail, and that was that Helga and Ralphy spoke a very different language.
It was suggested by some of Helga’s nearest and dearest acquaintances, that if they learned to speak the magical “language of love” that the original language barrier would not matter. It saddens me to tell you that not even the language of love would be enough to keep these two together. I apologize again for getting ahead of myself; perhaps in conclusion of this chapter I recall the first time that Helga met Ralphy, and how she consequently learned that they did not speak the same language.
Helga was not aware of this upon first learning of Ralphy, it actually came as quite a surprise to her. One afternoon when Helga was involved in a school related activity she was so completely focused on her work that it threw her for a figurative loop when she heard her name. Rather than being called Miss Weiner, as she was usually called in school related settings, she was called by her first name. She turned to the direction that she heard her name, and found Justine at the door of a school-related room waving for Helga to come over. Although Helga was confused as to why Justine would interrupt such an important school-related activity, she decided to check the situation out. Helga was even more confused when she noticed Justine motioning for an unseen individual to come nearer as well. Then a male individual came into view, and Justine introduced Helga to Ralphy. Helga was again thrown for the same figurative loop and didn’t know what to say to Ralphy.
If you can remember back to the very first chapter in this tremendous adventure, you may remember the phrase taken from a popular song, “you say it best when you say nothing at all.” The occasion of meeting Ralphy may have been another opportune time for Helga to use this advice, but again, she did not. She started blabbing her rather large mouth, letting Ralphy know that it was nice to meet him, and that she was available to go on their blind date on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, but not Sunday of the next week. She kept going, and going, and going, to the point that she could have given the Energizer Bunny a run for his money. Because she continued to talk, and talk, and talk some more, she didn’t immediately notice that Ralphy had not yet responded. When she finally quit talking, (probably just to take a breath) Ralphy gave her a puzzled look, and indicated in another language that he did not understand her. In turn, Helga gave an even more puzzled look, not immediately knowing that he had spoken another language. It wasn’t until Justine stepped in and said something along the lines of “Oh, I forgot to mention that Ralphy speaks another language,” that Helga realized Ralphy spoke another language.
You may be wondering how Helga and Ralphy ever managed to communicate on their first date. (Yes, despite their communication barrier, Ralphy found a way to ask Helga on their first date.) It wasn’t easy, and it did take some patience, but they did it. The only down side to their newly discovered form of written communication was that many things were implied, or misunderstood. As you will see in the next few chapters, this down fall ultimately caused the end of whatever relationship existed between Helga and Ralphy. And now I leave you hanging until………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………the next chapter.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Coming soon to a blog near you
So here's the deal, I feel slightly less busy now that I have my classes out of the way. I've been thinking for a while now, and I feel that if I actually publicly state that I'm ready to write the next chapter in "Helga's Journey" that I will be motivated to do it.....and I know that I will feel guilty if I don't follow through on this promise. So here is the official statement.....Chapter 8- (Title yet to be determined) is on its way. I don't work next week, or the week after so rather than plan my next few months of lessons for the children, I will sacrifice and work on this long-delayed work. I'm hoping for the best, wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
If you happen to find my brain will you let me know?
So I really and truly wish that I could call this a "Helga" story, but for one it doesn't really include any persons of the male gender, and also I'm the one that blew it this time, not Helga.
I'm not really sure that this is blog worthy, but since all of 3 or 4 people actually read this I may or may not be wasting only 3 or 4 people's time so here it goes. And also it was really bugging me so I figured this would be a good-not-so-public way to vent a little bit.
When it comes to technology I am challenged. Even when I have "mastered" some form of technology, I still manage to find a loop-hole and still screw things up. Such has been the case the last little while with my mobile cellular telephone ( I figure that if I write big and intelligent words, you may give me some credit for knowing big and intelligent words, rather than just thinking I'm stupid for the following stories.....)
About a year ago I decided I wanted to venture into the world of texting. Because of my challenge with technology I decided that I would likely do 'best' with a keyboard type phone,......we'll just say that predictive text and I have not, are not, and never will be friends, so alas I found the seemingly perfect keyboard flip phone (the type with the numbers on front, and when opened you find a magical keyboard). However, the phone and I have had a love-hate relationship. I LOVE its durability, I LOVE its snazzy look, and I LOVE it loyalty and dedication to me.......okay, back up scratch the last comment, forget loyalty and dedication. I HATE its magical ability to randomly and unknowingly dial friends, family, and the like at ANY given time of day, yes my phone is the master of the so-called "butt-dial" or to be more proper "butt0cks-dialing"......here are just a few examples:
1. There was the time my parents nearly drove 2 hours in the middle of the night to Logan because I rolled on my phone in the middle of the night and the blasted speed dial called my parents. They naturally panicked when they picked up the phone in a middle-of-the-night-stupor and I didn't answer. Of course I didn't answer, I was sleeping comfortably on top of my phone. But as far as they were concerned I was in mortal peril.
2. Another time I went through of phase of not only calling people from my pocket, but managing to leave rather lengthy messages. One message in particular was nearly 10 minutes long. The reciever of this message told me later that she had the pleasure of listening to me boss around a group of 2nd graders through the duration of the message. It's a good thing that she is not that judgemental.
3a. But the most recent occasion, is the one that brought about this blog. I had to call a family friend recently for a school assignment. The first time I called this friend we had a brief phone conversation, and that was it, or so I thought. I was carrying on a conversation with my sister on our front porch when I thought I heard someone.....it took me a minute to realize that the noise was coming from my phone. I was a little confused because it hadn't rung/rang/ringed, but I answered as though it had. The conversation went a little something like this:
Stranger: Hello?!?
Me: Um hi, did I call you or did you call me?
Annoyed stranger: You called me......
Confused me: Well I think I have the wrong number then
Even more annoyed stranger: How do you know you have the wrong number
Confused and embarassed, but honest me: Because I didn't mean to call anyone.....um yeah, so bye.
Silence
I looked at my phone, only to find that this wasn't a stranger, it was the husband of the friend that I had called earlier. Even thought he may not have known who the idiot was that he talked to on the phone, I still felt stupid to say the least.
I got over this incidence, but only until recently when it came to haunt again. So here is story #3b:
I had to call the family friend again recently concerning my school assignment. Again our conversation was brief and all was well. Until once again I was carrying on a conversation with my sister when I thought I heard a voice again.......I've grown accustomed to realize that these "voices" I hear generally come from my phone when it is in my pocket and I am leaning against something, such was the case this time. I looked at the phone mortified, not only because I had accidentally and unknowingly called this same person again, but the clock read......11:11.........p.m.
The conversation I had with the "stranger" this time was much more brief and to the point.....
Mortified me:Um Bergus, (No I don't know a Bergus, but you have to admit, that this was a creative alias) this is um Heather......I'm so sorry, my phone was in my pocket and I accidentally called so um I'm really sorry
Perturbed, annoyed, angry, (I'm pretty sure there could be more synonyms, but this will suffice)Bergus: Goodnight Heather.
Silence
I can't describe how embarassed I was this time. At least the first time there had been some form of annonymity, but not this time.
So if anything is to be learned or gained from this post I want to pre-apologize for any "phantom" calls that you may get from me. If it happens to be a real emergency I will do my best to be coherent enough to let you know that it is in fact a real emergency. Otherwise I again hope that you can forgive my stupidity.
Here's a little p.s. to all, I will also do my best to assure that if in fact I do phantom call you, I will try to do it between the hours of noon and 6 p.m. :)
I'm not really sure that this is blog worthy, but since all of 3 or 4 people actually read this I may or may not be wasting only 3 or 4 people's time so here it goes. And also it was really bugging me so I figured this would be a good-not-so-public way to vent a little bit.
When it comes to technology I am challenged. Even when I have "mastered" some form of technology, I still manage to find a loop-hole and still screw things up. Such has been the case the last little while with my mobile cellular telephone ( I figure that if I write big and intelligent words, you may give me some credit for knowing big and intelligent words, rather than just thinking I'm stupid for the following stories.....)
About a year ago I decided I wanted to venture into the world of texting. Because of my challenge with technology I decided that I would likely do 'best' with a keyboard type phone,......we'll just say that predictive text and I have not, are not, and never will be friends, so alas I found the seemingly perfect keyboard flip phone (the type with the numbers on front, and when opened you find a magical keyboard). However, the phone and I have had a love-hate relationship. I LOVE its durability, I LOVE its snazzy look, and I LOVE it loyalty and dedication to me.......okay, back up scratch the last comment, forget loyalty and dedication. I HATE its magical ability to randomly and unknowingly dial friends, family, and the like at ANY given time of day, yes my phone is the master of the so-called "butt-dial" or to be more proper "butt0cks-dialing"......here are just a few examples:
1. There was the time my parents nearly drove 2 hours in the middle of the night to Logan because I rolled on my phone in the middle of the night and the blasted speed dial called my parents. They naturally panicked when they picked up the phone in a middle-of-the-night-stupor and I didn't answer. Of course I didn't answer, I was sleeping comfortably on top of my phone. But as far as they were concerned I was in mortal peril.
2. Another time I went through of phase of not only calling people from my pocket, but managing to leave rather lengthy messages. One message in particular was nearly 10 minutes long. The reciever of this message told me later that she had the pleasure of listening to me boss around a group of 2nd graders through the duration of the message. It's a good thing that she is not that judgemental.
3a. But the most recent occasion, is the one that brought about this blog. I had to call a family friend recently for a school assignment. The first time I called this friend we had a brief phone conversation, and that was it, or so I thought. I was carrying on a conversation with my sister on our front porch when I thought I heard someone.....it took me a minute to realize that the noise was coming from my phone. I was a little confused because it hadn't rung/rang/ringed, but I answered as though it had. The conversation went a little something like this:
Stranger: Hello?!?
Me: Um hi, did I call you or did you call me?
Annoyed stranger: You called me......
Confused me: Well I think I have the wrong number then
Even more annoyed stranger: How do you know you have the wrong number
Confused and embarassed, but honest me: Because I didn't mean to call anyone.....um yeah, so bye.
Silence
I looked at my phone, only to find that this wasn't a stranger, it was the husband of the friend that I had called earlier. Even thought he may not have known who the idiot was that he talked to on the phone, I still felt stupid to say the least.
I got over this incidence, but only until recently when it came to haunt again. So here is story #3b:
I had to call the family friend again recently concerning my school assignment. Again our conversation was brief and all was well. Until once again I was carrying on a conversation with my sister when I thought I heard a voice again.......I've grown accustomed to realize that these "voices" I hear generally come from my phone when it is in my pocket and I am leaning against something, such was the case this time. I looked at the phone mortified, not only because I had accidentally and unknowingly called this same person again, but the clock read......11:11.........p.m.
The conversation I had with the "stranger" this time was much more brief and to the point.....
Mortified me:Um Bergus, (No I don't know a Bergus, but you have to admit, that this was a creative alias) this is um Heather......I'm so sorry, my phone was in my pocket and I accidentally called so um I'm really sorry
Perturbed, annoyed, angry, (I'm pretty sure there could be more synonyms, but this will suffice)Bergus: Goodnight Heather.
Silence
I can't describe how embarassed I was this time. At least the first time there had been some form of annonymity, but not this time.
So if anything is to be learned or gained from this post I want to pre-apologize for any "phantom" calls that you may get from me. If it happens to be a real emergency I will do my best to be coherent enough to let you know that it is in fact a real emergency. Otherwise I again hope that you can forgive my stupidity.
Here's a little p.s. to all, I will also do my best to assure that if in fact I do phantom call you, I will try to do it between the hours of noon and 6 p.m. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The result of boredom Part 7
I can't say that this chapter is the best as far as the quality of the writing, in fact, I feel like the writing needs a bit of work. However, this is yet again one of my favorite chapters because it gives me, um I mean it gives Helga some hope for her future.
But alas, there is a bit of bad news........for the time being, this is the last of Helga's story. There is one other chapter that I know of that needs to be written, but I'll just say that it will probably take me a while to write, because I don't know quite how to address this certain story just yet. But just to give you a bit of a teaser........Helga finally got a second date, and a third, and........hahaha, well if I go on it will all sound misleading. So for now, enjoy the temporary end of Helga's journey.
The Break, The Change: A Twist in Helga’s Tale?
Unless you are reading Helga’s tale from beginning to end (or the end as it is written so far), all in one sitting, you may have noticed that it has been a long time since there have been any additional chapters in the life of Helga. There may be many reasons for this, but we will explore only two of them. The first being that Helga took a long dating hiatus. Now this wasn’t necessarily her decision, but it appears to be beneficial, at least in this chapter. This leads us to the second reason, this “dating hiatus” gave Helga time to think, to grow and mature as far as dating is concerned. Now if she could just convince the “right” guy of this she might not be contributing additional chapters, but unfortunately her interactions with the opposite sex thus far have not been beneficial in the long-run. But if you will call your attention to the title of the chapter you may see that there is a possibility of change in the seemingly fruitless tale of Helga,, and thus our story begins.
Twas the evening of a Sunday in the middle of July. Helga, along with her flat mates, a British term meaning “One that is a friend or an individual that unavoidably lives in the same residence” were attending a weekly social function put on by their church. There came a point in the function where female volunteers were asked to assist the male associates in charge. Due to the peer pressure of the flat mates, and other surrounding associates, Helga halfheartedly volunteered. Much to her surprise, her volunteering haphazardly resulted in Helga “winning a date” with a boy named Marty. This was something that she had not done for quite some time, that is going on a date, not actually winning a date with a boy named Marty, which is something that she had never done in her life. The time and details leading up to the date are of no importance. It is the actual date….well the end of the date where you may see that Helga’s fate, to an extent is changing. Or at least she is no longer the party bringing the awkwardness to the dates anymore.
Helga and Marty were walking home with others from their church group that had also “won a date.” Up to this point the date had actually faired pretty well, aside from one wacky little conversation (brought about by Marty) concerning the flying speed of a certain irritating insect that likes to fly around poo, and other stinky substances, including malodorous humans. The other couples had split off, the boys were being chivalrous as they walked the girls home. Marty on the other hand, hadn’t quite figured out chivalry yet. He looked at Helga and said something lame such as “um so do you, um like want me to walk you home?” Helga could barely believe that lack of chivalry. Um yes, of course he should walk her home but he asked “do you want?" She thought she’d sound too eager and expectant if she said “yes” and she thought that she would sound plain ol’ rude if she said “no” so she stuck with the foolproof “sure.”
So, he walked her home and began a basic, “Thanks, that was fun…..” which would have been sufficient but, again he seemed to shows signs of having less dating experience than Helga, which I might add would be pretty difficult since Helga has a very miniscule amount of dating experience. He paused, and then asked, “Um do you, want me to give you a hug?”
“What?!?,” Helga thought, “Is he really asking me? He couldn’t simply give the hug.” So again, Helga was left with multiple choices of how to answer, and again she stuck with the foolproof “sure.” So they shared an odd hug, (which was likely more odd for Helga than for Marty) and off he went. This was thankfully the end of Helga’s interactions with Marty, and the end to her first male-led-awkward date.
Although Helga had been on yet another date that would not result in a second date, she was okay with that. In fact, she was overjoyed. Not necessarily because she didn’t care to see Marty ever again, but because she realized something had occurred on this date that had never occurred on any other date. She was no longer the giver of awkwardness, but for the first time ever, she was the receiver of the awkwardness. Could this be a twist that will change Helga’s luck with dating? Only time will tell.
But alas, there is a bit of bad news........for the time being, this is the last of Helga's story. There is one other chapter that I know of that needs to be written, but I'll just say that it will probably take me a while to write, because I don't know quite how to address this certain story just yet. But just to give you a bit of a teaser........Helga finally got a second date, and a third, and........hahaha, well if I go on it will all sound misleading. So for now, enjoy the temporary end of Helga's journey.
The Break, The Change: A Twist in Helga’s Tale?
Unless you are reading Helga’s tale from beginning to end (or the end as it is written so far), all in one sitting, you may have noticed that it has been a long time since there have been any additional chapters in the life of Helga. There may be many reasons for this, but we will explore only two of them. The first being that Helga took a long dating hiatus. Now this wasn’t necessarily her decision, but it appears to be beneficial, at least in this chapter. This leads us to the second reason, this “dating hiatus” gave Helga time to think, to grow and mature as far as dating is concerned. Now if she could just convince the “right” guy of this she might not be contributing additional chapters, but unfortunately her interactions with the opposite sex thus far have not been beneficial in the long-run. But if you will call your attention to the title of the chapter you may see that there is a possibility of change in the seemingly fruitless tale of Helga,, and thus our story begins.
Twas the evening of a Sunday in the middle of July. Helga, along with her flat mates, a British term meaning “One that is a friend or an individual that unavoidably lives in the same residence” were attending a weekly social function put on by their church. There came a point in the function where female volunteers were asked to assist the male associates in charge. Due to the peer pressure of the flat mates, and other surrounding associates, Helga halfheartedly volunteered. Much to her surprise, her volunteering haphazardly resulted in Helga “winning a date” with a boy named Marty. This was something that she had not done for quite some time, that is going on a date, not actually winning a date with a boy named Marty, which is something that she had never done in her life. The time and details leading up to the date are of no importance. It is the actual date….well the end of the date where you may see that Helga’s fate, to an extent is changing. Or at least she is no longer the party bringing the awkwardness to the dates anymore.
Helga and Marty were walking home with others from their church group that had also “won a date.” Up to this point the date had actually faired pretty well, aside from one wacky little conversation (brought about by Marty) concerning the flying speed of a certain irritating insect that likes to fly around poo, and other stinky substances, including malodorous humans. The other couples had split off, the boys were being chivalrous as they walked the girls home. Marty on the other hand, hadn’t quite figured out chivalry yet. He looked at Helga and said something lame such as “um so do you, um like want me to walk you home?” Helga could barely believe that lack of chivalry. Um yes, of course he should walk her home but he asked “do you want?" She thought she’d sound too eager and expectant if she said “yes” and she thought that she would sound plain ol’ rude if she said “no” so she stuck with the foolproof “sure.”
So, he walked her home and began a basic, “Thanks, that was fun…..” which would have been sufficient but, again he seemed to shows signs of having less dating experience than Helga, which I might add would be pretty difficult since Helga has a very miniscule amount of dating experience. He paused, and then asked, “Um do you, want me to give you a hug?”
“What?!?,” Helga thought, “Is he really asking me? He couldn’t simply give the hug.” So again, Helga was left with multiple choices of how to answer, and again she stuck with the foolproof “sure.” So they shared an odd hug, (which was likely more odd for Helga than for Marty) and off he went. This was thankfully the end of Helga’s interactions with Marty, and the end to her first male-led-awkward date.
Although Helga had been on yet another date that would not result in a second date, she was okay with that. In fact, she was overjoyed. Not necessarily because she didn’t care to see Marty ever again, but because she realized something had occurred on this date that had never occurred on any other date. She was no longer the giver of awkwardness, but for the first time ever, she was the receiver of the awkwardness. Could this be a twist that will change Helga’s luck with dating? Only time will tell.
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