Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Result of Boredom Part 11? !2? I've lost count...

Helga's First BF-The Introduction It was a December evening a few years back and Helga had decided to go to a church function with 2 of her BFFs, which is this case stands for “Best Friends Forever”. Her 2 friends, Ariel and Fontina, were more outgoing than Helga, but one area in which Helga had them beat in the outgoingness category was dancing. Helga loved to dance, and it didn’t matter what kind of music she listened to or who was watching, Helga knew how to shake what her momma gave her, which was incidentally a rather round posterior. She always had herself a good time when she was able to get her groove on. So imagine Helga’s excitement when she found out that the afore mentioned church function turned out to be a night full of dancing instruction and activity! “Sweetness squared!” Thought Helga, which for those of you who are not as hip as Helga was, is a phrase used to not only mean “awesome”, but rather “totally awesome!” They were to be paired off with a member of the opposite sex, as is customary when one is instructed in dancing. This made Helga a little nervous at first, because as has been seen in chapters past, her success rate with boys was not highly favorable. But despite this fact, Helga would not be thwarted and would indeed bust ‘a’ move that night, even if it meant she would have to dance with a handful of fellas that she didn't know. They had to rotate partners every few minutes, and Helga said ‘hello’ and ‘good-bye’ to a few young men and didn’t think much of them, except for one young man. His name was Javier, and Helga's first impression, a term meaning her initial judgement based 50% on his looks and 50% on his character, was that he was quite a nice fellow. Little did Helga know, that her friends had also been paying particular attention to this young lad and the interaction that Helga and Javier had. Later that evening, when the activity had ended and they were returning to their homes, Ariel and Fontina reported to Helga that they were very pleased with what they saw when she and Javier had danced. They spent no time beating around the bush, and boldly proclaimed their personal beliefs that Helga and Javier should fall in love. It is likely that Helga initially thought the idea of falling in love with someone was preposterous, seeing as how the idea of even going on a "normal" date was somewhat questionable, considering her history, but Helga would be surprised at the upcoming events in her life. Javier would be Helga’s very first, real live, bf, a term that does not mean “beef finder”. It also does not mean “box fixer,” because I’m sure one of you out there may have thought that. No, no, Javier would be Helga’s first ever “bf” or boy friend. (For those of you that worried this day may never come for Helga feel free to insert the “Hallelujah Chorus” right now.) I should give you a head’s up, a term which means to inform or make someone aware of a certain situation, that this part of their relationship would take quite some time to develop, 2 whole years to be precise, therefore, this story is not one that will be told quickly. In fact, it is one that I as the writer feel may be far trickier than any others written thus far. You see, Helga and Javier began as friends, as is the case for many a couple, but they took a long and windy road to the final destination of dating. I'm not sure how many chapters this story will take to be told, but I will do my darndest to make sure that I include the most important details. I am quite close with Helga, in fact I almost feel a part of her, and I happen to know that her thoughts and feelings of Javier were quite deep at times, and to the best of my knowledge, those thoughts and feelings were reciprocated. Though that was the case, it's a bit of a bummer for me to have to let you know that things did not end up working out for Helga and Javier. I won't get into that part of it yet, because I promise there are some good and happy times that need to be shared first. So without further ado, I would like to quote one of Helga's favorite hip-hoppin' groups to boogie down to and say "Let's Get it Started."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Let's Get It Started

I recently took a writing class for my reading endorsement and I had a thought. A long time ago I made up the rule/excuse about the "Helga" chapters and because of this, I have hung up writing for a long time. During the class, the teacher described a time when a certain topic or writing project called to him and he felt that he had to write it. As I sat in the class I realized that I haven't written in a long time and that I also have a writing project that long over due. The teacher didn't just want us to think about a writing project, but he had us report to our classmates what our next step, or in this case first step, would be to make the project actually happen. So after conferencing with peers, I came away with some determination and a bit of excitement to write the next and last installment in "Helga's Adventure....Volume 1" Ha, I don't actually know if there will ever be a Volume 2 written, but I figure we have to have hope that Helga will progress further in her romantic endeavors. I honestly don't know how I'm going to write this next story, but I decided it's just about time. I figure if I declare it on the blog, then it's bound to happen, and I'm hoping to get started soon. Wish me luck!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Part 4: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language

It has been quite some time since I have last written about Helga and her outings with Ralphy. The amount of time spent between this chapter and the previous chapter in no way correlates with the duration of Helga and Ralphy's non-verbal relationship. In fact, the entirety of their **friendship/relationship/courtship lasted less than one month.

**to this day, Helga is still unsure of how to refer to this time spent with Ralphy, but that is beside the point.

I will get on with this chapter now which ultimately ends with the end of Helga and Ralphy. I don't consider that last sentence to be any sort of spoiler, because I am undoubtedly sure that you all had to see it coming. How were things to ever work out with Helga and Ralphy if they didn't speak the same language? This is a question that Helga began asking herself soon after her previously-canceled-but-later-rescheduled-date plan with Ralphy.

They went on that date where they ate at an early-morning eatery and proceeded to a darkly lit bowling alley. I think that it would be safe to say that aside from the few pimply-teenagers that worked there, Helga and Ralphy were the only ones in the bowling alley. One might think that this would be a prime atmosphere to have grand "getting to know you" kind of conversations, but Helga and Ralphy still only communicated in a brief written way.

Helga began to realize that things probably weren't going to work out. She was not only somewhat frustrated with the fact that she couldn't communicate with Ralphy, but she also realized that she wasn't really interested in him as more than a friend. Having never been in a **friendship/relationship/courtship (See previous asterisk) Helga, didn't know how to end things with Ralphy. She likely asked some of her flatmates and friends what to do, and they likely advised her to be open and honest with Ralphy, but Helga was having a hard time mustering up the courage to do such a thing.

Although Helga was and still is a big believer in honesty, she didn't have to "break things off" with Ralphy. And in case you were wondering, Ralphy didn't "break things off" with Helga either. The whole thing truly just fizzled out. The last time they ever saw each other they spent an evening at a school-related program together. They had driven separately, so when the program was over, they walked out to the parking lot together, shared their first and last awkward hug together, waved good-bye and that was that. They never saw each other again.

I apologize if any of you feel cheated that you invested 4-chapters worth of your time in this story that ultimately amounted to nothing. But let me assure you, that as has been the case in all of Helga's other dating adventures, there was a lesson to be learned. Helga discovered early on that communicating in the same language, actually was important. But more importantly, she decided that if in the future she was faced with an "open and honest" type of situation again she would do her dandiest to be open and honest.

So again we end another chapter in the life of our dear friend Helga. You may or may not be wondering if Helga will ever find dating success in her future. I can't say that I have a clear answer to that question, but a few stories come to mind that might help you as a reader decide. Once upon a December time, Helga met a young chap named-- but I better I stop there because that's another story.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Result of Boredom part 10

Well, I don't really have much of an introduction to this chapter. That said, here you go. I hope you enjoy!

Part 3: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language

Upon our last meeting I left you with the fatefull news that Ralphy had cancelled his second date with Helga. But also as was hinted, this second date would and did in fact take place, just a little later than planned. And through hopefully not too much of a round about way, I will try to explain how this second date would be rescheduled.

It is not that often that we have been able to take a look into Helga's deepest thoughts and feelings, yes despite Helga's lack of any love life she still has feelings. But she still wasn't quite sure how to take the news of the cancelled date, she wasn't offended, perhaps a little sad, but she was ultimatley okay to just leave it at that and move on to the next boy that would hopefully grace her presence someday. Despite her contentment of the situation, the school-related associate that was mentioned in the previous chapter, was the very opposite of content. Upon learning of the cancellation of the date, she immediately insisted that Helga speak with Ralphy's mother and ask something along the lines of "what is wrong with your son that speaks a different language?" Helga kind of thought that this was a strange idea, and in her mind had decided against it. But again, that school-related associate would have it no other way.

This particular school day Helga, the school-related associate, and Ralphy's mother were accompanying many young students on an out of school adventure. They were riding in a large Twinky-shaped vehicle with seats that only 2 people could sit on. Helga ended up being seated next to the school related associate, where they were having a a meaningless conversation. Because of the meaningless conversation, Helga was paying little attention, because she was paying little attention she was not at all expecting the meaningful conversation that was about to take place between the school-related associate and Ralphy's mother. It went something like this:

School-related associate: "Hey Justine, what is wrong with your son that speaks another language? He dumped Helga after only one date with little explanation."

Justine's reply "He was worried that Helga did not like him and thought of him in a less intellectual manner because he speaks another language. But otherwise he had a very enjoyable time, so the part about him choosing a younger female, from a southern state, that speaks his same language, was basically just an excuse."

Well seeing as how this was a matter that concerned Helga far more directly than the school-related associate, she decided that she must interject and set things straight. Therefore, she explained to Justine, that she didn't think of Ralphy in a less intellectual manner because he spoke another language. She further explained that she found this to be fascinating. And although she did not vocally state this, she found it slightly confusing, but a little relieving to know that the part about him claiming to have chosen a younger female, from a southern state, that spoke his same language, was in actuality just an excuse.

Well I'm sorry for that confusing explanation, but I felt that it was important for you as a reader to know the way in which things were cleared up so that Helga and Ralphy could go on their second date (and might I add that this would be Helga's very first, second date ever).

So now that you know the lengthy background, I will give you the shorter portion of how this second date came to be.

One Saturday, soon after the conversation during the out of school adventure, Helga recieved a written message from Ralphy via her mobular telephone device. He was inviting her to join him the following Sunday at his religious building where everyone spoke his same language. Helga accepted.

The very next day she made sure that she looked her "Sunday Best", a term meaning that she wore a modest length of skirt, snazzy looking sweater, and an appropiately matching pair of shoes. Then she headed off to the religious building, where she would meet Ralphy.

She found Ralphy, and did her best to communicate to him in her language that she didn't know where to go. He showed her around to the various classes that she would attend that day, but because of the nature of the classes, and the fact that she didn't really understand what was being said, she mostly just sat with a blank stare on her face, much like the look you would see on the face of a Bambi-like deer before it is about to be massacred by the force of a moving vehicle coming its way. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, well that's a bit too much of an exaggeration, but after what seemed to be a very, very, very long time, the religious meeting came to an end. And Helga and Ralphy were about to have a short, but meaningful (written) conversation. And it went something like this:

Ralphy: "I'm very sorry for so rudely cancelling our future date plan."

Helga: "That's okay"

Ralphy: "I was wrong to think that you would think of me in a less intellectual way because of the language barrier that separates us. If it is okay by you, I would like to reinstate the previously planned second date. Do you accept?"

Helga: "Yes."

Ralphy: "Okay, I will communicate with you in this same written manner at a later date to give you more specific details about this date."

Helga: "That would be rather nice."

Ralphy: "Ok, good-bye"

Helga: "Bye"

And that was that. They would have that second date. But it saddens me to remind you that though they would go on the second date and even see each other on a few other occasions, it would not ultimately work out for them. And so now I will leave you hanging once again. To wonder. And possibly be annoyed. Yet again, you will have to wait to hear the ultimate end of Helga and Ralphy.

Ha, so there you have it. Honestly I don't know where this is all going. I kind of feel like I ramble on, but maybe that is te purpose of this. So any opinions, positive or negative will be appreciated. But I do ask, if comments be negative...please keep your language PG rated :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Result of Boredom part 9....I think

I know, I know, I'm a complete slacker. I'll blame my lack of continuing "Helga's Journey" on the fact that I have been dilligently teaching musical concepts to children of the ages 5-12. It may only be a 3 hour a day job, but it amazes me how much of my time it takes. But enough of that, I bet you have all just been dying to know what happened to Helga and Ralphy, well the time has now arrived to read of the next portion of this multi-portioned chapter in Helga's Journey, with out further ado I give you Part 2 in ........"The Boy Who Spoke Another Language" (I loved all suggestions for the chapter title, but I just couldn't for now, this is it.)
Part Two of: The Boy Who Spoke Another Language

When we last left Helga and Ralphy, they both had discovered that they spoke another language, but if you remember, it was also reported that they would discover a magical form of written communication that worked rather well for the both of them. Granted, it would be most preferred that they both spoke the other's language, but you know, they did what they had to do.

I would most like to describe the first date that Helga went on with Ralphy, unlike past tales in Helga's life, the details of this particular date actually are important. I must admit, that Helga was actually pretty nervous about this date, due to the fact that she had not yet discovered the written form of communication. She spoke to many an individual, be it her family, flatmates, or far away friends, to ask their advice on communicating with an individual that spoke another language. Although all of these individuals had much more experience in the realms of dating than Helga because they had already found love, or were at least closer to having found love than her, they were not much help in this situation. So adviceless, Helga left for the date, unsure of what the outcome would be.

She was to meet Ralphy at a rather popular frozen-dairy like store, to enjoy one another's company, and of course, enjoy a frozen dairy treat. Within a very few minutes Ralphy introduced her to the magical form of written communication. He first pulled out a writing utensil and then an object that is often used to wipe ones face when they dribble a bit of a frozen-dairy dessert, however, in this case it was used as means to write on with said writing utensil. They began conversing about the basics, you know "How is your day?" "Why did my Mother want to set you up with me?" "Would you like to go with me to my religious building this Sunday where we speak my language?" "Would you like me like me to give you lessons in my language so that it might be easier for us to communicate? " and even "Would you like to go on another date with me?"

Well my oh my, was Helga ever surprised, might I add baffled, because Ralphy was the first boy that had ever asked her on a second date. She managed to answer all his previous questions with ease and honesty. Her day had been fine, as she had been working with young individuals in a school-related setting, a favorite pastime of hers. His mother wanted to set the two of them up because she thought that they might enjoy one another's company, which actually turned out to be true. Yes, Helga wanted to go with Ralphy to his religious building that following Sunday, where they would be speaking his language, because she thought it would be an interesting experience. And yes, she would like to take some lessons in his language so that it would be easier for the two of them to communicate. After having answered all these questions, and likely others, which I do not recall, Helga answered his last question in the affirmative, Yes! She would most definately like to go on another date with Ralphy!

So it was decided, that all of these things would take place. Helga had no need to be nervous, as the date was considerably better than she had imagined it. In fact, she immediately went home afterwards and began contacting all of the individuals whom she had previously called on for advice, such as her old school pal Lenora, her flat mate Katania, and even her sister Merna, to tell them of the fantabulous time they had.

Poor Helga, she spent much of the evening after that date telling so many of what a wonderful time she had, when little did she know, she would have to contact all of them again, the very next day to reverse her statement about the second date.

She was just leaving a meeting with a school-related associate, who had coincidentally just asked about the previous nights' date. Helga was in the process of responding to the questions when she happened to notice an electronic message from Ralphy on her mobile communication device (yes it was still their magical form of communication, but with an electronic twist that provided a bit more convenience and less strain on the hands than the writing utensil and frozen-dairy-dribble-wiper method) The message read something like this "I'm sorry Helga, I have to cancel our second date. I hope you understand, but I have chosen a younger female, that lives in a southern state, and happens to speak my same language. We will still be friends, Ralphy."

Well Helga didn't quite know what to say to that. She had a nice time the evening before, and as far as she could tell, Ralphy had an enjoyable time as well. All she could think to do was to respond by saying something to the effect of "Thank you for a lovely evening last night, and for the frozen dairy treat. Yes, I will still be your friend, Helga." And that was that, her very first, second date would no longer be taking place....yet.

And here you will be left hanging again. I will not yet tell you how it all came to be, but this succinct electronic message from Ralphy would not be the last of him in Helga's life. There would be that second date, and even some other outings........but I would not be keeping to my promise of keeping each of these sub-chapters short if I continued, so until next time, you will be left to wonder when will we again hear of "The boy who spoke another language" in this the tale of "Helga's Journey"?

Ha, as always I appreciate any and all comments, questions, suggestions, and the like. I know it's kind of lame, but thanks to those that actually read this. It's all for fun, but it's also kind of fun to know that there are actually people that have fun reading it.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The long-delayed result of boredom part 8

I just wanted to give a head's up, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter because I gave myself a deadline on it, and I don't know if that was the best choice or not. The 'note to the reader' will explain a bit about this chapter and a few future chapters. You will also note that there is no title....yet. I'm hoping for a little help on this one and would like your suggestions, in fact, I'm almost willing to make it a contest, where the best title wins...Wins what? Well you win the honor of naming the chapter. And more than any other chapter, I am open to all suggestions. I completed writing this at 1:15 a.m. and would not be the least bit offended if you find grammatical errors, or anything else that needs to be changed. Let me know. Thanks! And as always, enjoy!

NOTE TO THE READER: After much pondering and inner debate it was finally decided how this, the newest adventure, in Helga’s tale should be presented. I assure you that you will get a description of the entire event. However, unlike many of the past chapters, the details are important. So rather than writing a very elongated story all in one chapter, it has been unanimously decided by numerous experts that the following account will be broken down into multiple chapters. Again, I guarantee that the whole story will be recorded, but in order to keep you reading these brief chapters, and in order for me to undertake this large assignment whilst maintaining whatever sanity I currently have, I can only believe that writing this as a collection of chapters is the best way to go about the presentation of this adventure in “Helga’s Journey.”

Chapter 8:

Once upon a time, a short time after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with another young chap, and then another date with this same young chap, and another, and, well I’m getting a little ahead of myself, so let me try this again. Once upon a time, after the previously mentioned date with Marty, Helga had the opportunity to go on a date with a young chap named Ralphy.
Helga initially knew very little of this fella due to the fact, she just knew that his mother, Justine, was the one that was trying to set these 2 individuals up. Justine knew Helga through a school-related setting, and for whatever reason, decided that Helga would be an amazing young woman to set up with her son. But then again, if you had an associate like our poor friend Helga, wouldn’t you do your dandiest to try to find her an appropriate companion? Well try as she might, Justine’s attempts at matchmaking ultimately failed, but it took quite a while for this matchmaking attempt to fail and herein lies our story. (Or at least the first part of the story.)
On intermittent occasions, Justine would tell Helga little tidbits about her son, Ralphy. After a number of these intermittent occasions, Justine asked if Helga would mind being set up on a blind date with Ralphy. Helga could see no harm in being set up on a blind date, despite the fact that none of her previous blind date experiences had really fared well for her, but nonetheless she said ‘yes.’ It was decided that Justine would give Ralphy Helga’s digits, and it would then be his responsibility to contact her for the said date. Ha, if that were only the way that it could have gone, but alas, Justine was an eager mother, who you will soon see decided to hurry things along in her own special way.
Before moving forward with our story I would like to add a detail that was omitted earlier (you may remember that I promised to include the details to this particular story). I will remind you again that it was mentioned that Justine had intermittently told Helga little tidbits about Ralphy, but Helga also learned that Justine had intermittently given Ralphy some informational tidbits about Helga. What type of informational tidbits you may ask? Well let me tell you, Justine had basically told Ralphy about Helga’s previous misfortunes with members of the opposite sex, which you will see from past chapters is not the best information to learn about a person when you are about to be set up on a blind date with them. Now you may think you have this chapter figured out, and that all these tidbits of information may have affected the failed outcome of this relationship, but you will just have to trust me that this information didn’t really play any part into the failure. Rather there was a larger problem that ultimately caused this relationship to fail, and that was that Helga and Ralphy spoke a very different language.
It was suggested by some of Helga’s nearest and dearest acquaintances, that if they learned to speak the magical “language of love” that the original language barrier would not matter. It saddens me to tell you that not even the language of love would be enough to keep these two together. I apologize again for getting ahead of myself; perhaps in conclusion of this chapter I recall the first time that Helga met Ralphy, and how she consequently learned that they did not speak the same language.
Helga was not aware of this upon first learning of Ralphy, it actually came as quite a surprise to her. One afternoon when Helga was involved in a school related activity she was so completely focused on her work that it threw her for a figurative loop when she heard her name. Rather than being called Miss Weiner, as she was usually called in school related settings, she was called by her first name. She turned to the direction that she heard her name, and found Justine at the door of a school-related room waving for Helga to come over. Although Helga was confused as to why Justine would interrupt such an important school-related activity, she decided to check the situation out. Helga was even more confused when she noticed Justine motioning for an unseen individual to come nearer as well. Then a male individual came into view, and Justine introduced Helga to Ralphy. Helga was again thrown for the same figurative loop and didn’t know what to say to Ralphy.
If you can remember back to the very first chapter in this tremendous adventure, you may remember the phrase taken from a popular song, “you say it best when you say nothing at all.” The occasion of meeting Ralphy may have been another opportune time for Helga to use this advice, but again, she did not. She started blabbing her rather large mouth, letting Ralphy know that it was nice to meet him, and that she was available to go on their blind date on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, but not Sunday of the next week. She kept going, and going, and going, to the point that she could have given the Energizer Bunny a run for his money. Because she continued to talk, and talk, and talk some more, she didn’t immediately notice that Ralphy had not yet responded. When she finally quit talking, (probably just to take a breath) Ralphy gave her a puzzled look, and indicated in another language that he did not understand her. In turn, Helga gave an even more puzzled look, not immediately knowing that he had spoken another language. It wasn’t until Justine stepped in and said something along the lines of “Oh, I forgot to mention that Ralphy speaks another language,” that Helga realized Ralphy spoke another language.
You may be wondering how Helga and Ralphy ever managed to communicate on their first date. (Yes, despite their communication barrier, Ralphy found a way to ask Helga on their first date.) It wasn’t easy, and it did take some patience, but they did it. The only down side to their newly discovered form of written communication was that many things were implied, or misunderstood. As you will see in the next few chapters, this down fall ultimately caused the end of whatever relationship existed between Helga and Ralphy. And now I leave you hanging until………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………the next chapter.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Coming soon to a blog near you

So here's the deal, I feel slightly less busy now that I have my classes out of the way. I've been thinking for a while now, and I feel that if I actually publicly state that I'm ready to write the next chapter in "Helga's Journey" that I will be motivated to do it.....and I know that I will feel guilty if I don't follow through on this promise. So here is the official statement.....Chapter 8- (Title yet to be determined) is on its way. I don't work next week, or the week after so rather than plan my next few months of lessons for the children, I will sacrifice and work on this long-delayed work. I'm hoping for the best, wish me luck.