Tuesday, October 6, 2009

If you happen to find my brain will you let me know?

So I really and truly wish that I could call this a "Helga" story, but for one it doesn't really include any persons of the male gender, and also I'm the one that blew it this time, not Helga.
I'm not really sure that this is blog worthy, but since all of 3 or 4 people actually read this I may or may not be wasting only 3 or 4 people's time so here it goes. And also it was really bugging me so I figured this would be a good-not-so-public way to vent a little bit.

When it comes to technology I am challenged. Even when I have "mastered" some form of technology, I still manage to find a loop-hole and still screw things up. Such has been the case the last little while with my mobile cellular telephone ( I figure that if I write big and intelligent words, you may give me some credit for knowing big and intelligent words, rather than just thinking I'm stupid for the following stories.....)

About a year ago I decided I wanted to venture into the world of texting. Because of my challenge with technology I decided that I would likely do 'best' with a keyboard type phone,......we'll just say that predictive text and I have not, are not, and never will be friends, so alas I found the seemingly perfect keyboard flip phone (the type with the numbers on front, and when opened you find a magical keyboard). However, the phone and I have had a love-hate relationship. I LOVE its durability, I LOVE its snazzy look, and I LOVE it loyalty and dedication to me.......okay, back up scratch the last comment, forget loyalty and dedication. I HATE its magical ability to randomly and unknowingly dial friends, family, and the like at ANY given time of day, yes my phone is the master of the so-called "butt-dial" or to be more proper "butt0cks-dialing"......here are just a few examples:

1. There was the time my parents nearly drove 2 hours in the middle of the night to Logan because I rolled on my phone in the middle of the night and the blasted speed dial called my parents. They naturally panicked when they picked up the phone in a middle-of-the-night-stupor and I didn't answer. Of course I didn't answer, I was sleeping comfortably on top of my phone. But as far as they were concerned I was in mortal peril.

2. Another time I went through of phase of not only calling people from my pocket, but managing to leave rather lengthy messages. One message in particular was nearly 10 minutes long. The reciever of this message told me later that she had the pleasure of listening to me boss around a group of 2nd graders through the duration of the message. It's a good thing that she is not that judgemental.

3a. But the most recent occasion, is the one that brought about this blog. I had to call a family friend recently for a school assignment. The first time I called this friend we had a brief phone conversation, and that was it, or so I thought. I was carrying on a conversation with my sister on our front porch when I thought I heard someone.....it took me a minute to realize that the noise was coming from my phone. I was a little confused because it hadn't rung/rang/ringed, but I answered as though it had. The conversation went a little something like this:

Stranger: Hello?!?
Me: Um hi, did I call you or did you call me?
Annoyed stranger: You called me......
Confused me: Well I think I have the wrong number then
Even more annoyed stranger: How do you know you have the wrong number
Confused and embarassed, but honest me: Because I didn't mean to call anyone.....um yeah, so bye.

Silence

I looked at my phone, only to find that this wasn't a stranger, it was the husband of the friend that I had called earlier. Even thought he may not have known who the idiot was that he talked to on the phone, I still felt stupid to say the least.

I got over this incidence, but only until recently when it came to haunt again. So here is story #3b:

I had to call the family friend again recently concerning my school assignment. Again our conversation was brief and all was well. Until once again I was carrying on a conversation with my sister when I thought I heard a voice again.......I've grown accustomed to realize that these "voices" I hear generally come from my phone when it is in my pocket and I am leaning against something, such was the case this time. I looked at the phone mortified, not only because I had accidentally and unknowingly called this same person again, but the clock read......11:11.........p.m.
The conversation I had with the "stranger" this time was much more brief and to the point.....

Mortified me:Um Bergus, (No I don't know a Bergus, but you have to admit, that this was a creative alias) this is um Heather......I'm so sorry, my phone was in my pocket and I accidentally called so um I'm really sorry

Perturbed, annoyed, angry, (I'm pretty sure there could be more synonyms, but this will suffice)Bergus: Goodnight Heather.

Silence

I can't describe how embarassed I was this time. At least the first time there had been some form of annonymity, but not this time.

So if anything is to be learned or gained from this post I want to pre-apologize for any "phantom" calls that you may get from me. If it happens to be a real emergency I will do my best to be coherent enough to let you know that it is in fact a real emergency. Otherwise I again hope that you can forgive my stupidity.

Here's a little p.s. to all, I will also do my best to assure that if in fact I do phantom call you, I will try to do it between the hours of noon and 6 p.m. :)